Do you hate getting phone calls from telemarketers as much as I do? Well, here are some ways to get your revenge!
1. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER of a voice as you can, “But I don’t have any friends…Would you be my friend?”
2. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
4. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
5. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
6. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
7. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up…louder…louder…louder!
8. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
9. If they start out with, “How are you today?”, say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems…”
10. Catch them off guard by saying in a husky voice, “What are you wearing?”
11. Cry out in surprise, “Helen, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really male.
© Copyright 2006-2007 Ziffer Szmaza
All Rights Reserved.