Lucky 13

 

Zu took the easy way out. O.D., baby. God, I always believed in him. I couldnít cry, I couldnít sleep, I couldnít eat. It broke me down in a way. There was no meaning left in anything, anymore. What can u look for in life if everyone u love is meant to die?

Knock knock knockiní on Heavenís door. 

When I used to close my eyes I used to see his face. Made it so damn hard to breathe. I blamed myself for not seeing what was coming. I knew he was doing the hard stuff. Speed, LSD, PCP. Really not sure which of them. Then there was that gal. Of what I had heard about her from him she seemed cool enuf. What she might have gone thru? Not everybody is prepared to see death at sixteen, especially not of one u expect to see forever. I donít know whom I am speaking for Ė for an innocent liíl gal or me.

A part of me died with him. And it was the part that used to care. Nothing matters to me now.  I donít want to be human anymore. Humans die.

I see blood every time I look at my wrists. I know how Iím going to die. Every time I write those morbid stuff do u realize that I write Ďbout me. Every time I cry I cry for me.

Let me go. Its about time I looked for answers. Except that Ė I donít know what the questions are.